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Jeff Osterman
University of South Florida
4202 East Fowler Avenue / Muma Basketball Center
Tampa, FL 33620
813-974-4479
Osterman@usf.edu
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NORM

 

 

Sam: Cheers wouldn't be Cheers without you. You're the reason why people come here.

Norm: Oh, what people?

Sam: Well, uh, delivery men for one.

 

Norm: Oh, Rebecca, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.

Rebecca: What are you talking about? You're just sitting there on your bar stool.

Norm: I know. This is where I look from.

 

Norm: Hey, do you want to tell me why you fired Vera.

John Allen Hill: Who are you?

Norm: I'm her husband, Norm.

John Allen Hill: Oh, yes, I didn't recognize you without a bar growing out of your chest.

 

Diane: [to Sam, about dating married women] Well, it's refreshing to know you draw the line somewhere.

Sam: Hey, hey, I draw lot's of lines. As a matter of fact, there are three categories of women I never get involved with: married, underage and comatose.

Norm: He's added one.

 

Rebecca: Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be without Vera for twenty years?

Norm: Oh my God.

Rebecca: You see. You'd miss Vera.

Norm: Oh, I thought you said beer.

 

"How's life treating you?"
"It's not, Sammy, but you can."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"Another layer for the winter, Woody."

"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink."

(Coming in from the rain)

"Evening, everybody."

Everybody: "Norm!"

"Still pouring, Norm?"

"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.”

 

"What would you say to a beer, Norm?"

"Hiya, sailor. New in town?

 

"What'd you say, Norm?"

"Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer."

 

"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"

"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

 

"What'll you have, Normie?"

"Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."

"Looks like beer, Norm."

"Call me Mr. Lucky."

 

"What do you say to a cold one, Norm?"

"See ya later Vera I’m going to Cheers"

 

"Norm, can I get you a beer?"

"Beer? Isn't that the amber-colored, carbonated liquid? I've heard good things about."

 

"How you doing Norm?"

"I'm on top of the world... it's a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere."

 

"Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

 

"Jack Frost nipping at your nose,  Mr. Peterson?"

"Yeah, now let's get Jack Frost nipping at my liver."

 

"Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."

"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

 

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"

"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

 

"Whatcha up to, Norm?"

"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

 

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"

"Poor."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, I mean pour."

 

"How's life treating you, Norm?"

"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

 

"How's a beer sound, Norm?"

"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

 

"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"

"Going down"

 

"What'll it be, Normie?"

"Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer & a snorkel."

 

"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"

"Daddy loves you."

 

"What'd you like, Normie?"

"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

 

“How’s life treating you Mr. Peterson?”

“Like a baby treats its’ diaper.”

 

“What’s new Normie?”

“Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.”

 

“What’s going on Mr. Peterson?”

“The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please Woody.”

 

“Hey, what’s up Norm?”

“My blood alcohol level.”

 

“What’s shakin’ Mr. Peterson?”

“All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”

 

"What's going down, Normie?"

"My butt cheeks on that bar stool"

 

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

 

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"

"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

 

"What's the story, Norm?"

"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

 

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"

"For a beer?"

"No, for stupid questions."

 

 

 

    

 

 

  
 
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